Eliot never needed Joy anyway. Their friendship was a joke to her. She thought they were in a big TV show, where having a gay best friend made you cool. Eliot had always felt like he was being watched and judged, that always made him uncomfortably conscious.
The first time he went on a date with this junior called Max, Joy had just followed him around, wanted “to make sure that he was safe and that Max wasn’t a prick”. Turns out, Max was a prick only Eliot realized that after five months of dating him.
There was always something cryptic about Joy, as if she wasn’t trying too hard, but made it seem like she wasn’t trying at all. She made Eliot nervous, ironically she was the only girl who could make him nervous. He was in love with her, but not. He definitely would have been if she were a guy. But she wasn’t instead she became his best friend, which happened as abruptly as this sentence, it was very sudden.
Eliot had just joined instagram, and her DM popped up, waiting to be answered and after a few day they were hanging out and Eliot was telling her very intimate stuff he had never mentioned to even a single living soul before – like how gay he was – and madly in love with the way her hair smelled.
They were inseparable, which had caused Max to act in a ‘prick way’ – because he thought Eliot was second guessing his sexuality and changing it to “Bi-sexual”. Sexuality isn’t something that just keeps alternating between seasons, it is there to stay, but then again it is also fluid. One can’t be sure. However, Eliot was.
Anyway, now, here she was – waiting to break the friendship – as if it were a piece of thread she could rip and throw, and forget. Eliot had to act like a man, whatever that meant.
“I am going through some changes and I hope you’ll support me through them. And if you want to support me then the first thing is to slowly break this, whatever it is, and let me be free.”
“You’re not in shackles are you, or hand cuffs, you can run along if you want.”
“I am serious, E. Please.”
“Funnily enough I am serious too, so if we are done talking, Marcus is waiting for me near the patio so I have got to go.”
“Aren’t you gonna ask what is it I am going through?”
“I thought we weren’t friends?”
She made an incredulous face at him, as if he was the one she couldn’t believe.
“I am going to transition, soon. I have my finances in place.”
“I am getting a surgery done, for gender change. I want to be a guy.”
There was a long pause, and none looked at the other’s eye. Shoes had become a more pleasant aspect.
“How does that change our friendship?”
She looked at him finally, and the sun reflected in her brown eyes. Her pupils were dilated; and Eliot thought if they would change with her transition too, or would she remain the same?
“That’s for you to figure out” And with that she left, without a single glance back.
– Samidha .